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Hi Everybody out there in the land of psychcentral or other places that are related to mental health. I just wrote this blog because the web site told me I could. I am a 42 year old female bipolar 1 with dual diagnosis of substance abuse. I also have anxiety disorder and PTSD. Sounds like fun huh? I have alot of questions and theories related to the dual diagnosis thing. Which came first? Alot of people blame drugs for causing people to have bipolar disorder or other mental problems, however when you look back on your life, there are usually reasons way deeper that are at issue here. Bipolar disorder causes even young adults, even children to turn to substances that numb their feelings because it is so uncomfortable to be in their own skin with the thoughts going through their heads. So, It is a question that will probably remain unanswered, but is a good topic for discussion and opinions. I have been through hell and back more than once with this stuff. My life has been turned upside down. Nothing for me has ever been without major issues with one thing or another. I live every day wondering what will happen. I continue to go on despite the fact that I sometimes think my life is a cruel joke. I am going to write this blog despite the fact that I have no idea how it works. Im just going to write and hit the button to publish it. So, I hope I hear from someone out there who is interested in this topic. I have alot to say, but Im not gonna waste my time if no one is reading it.